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It has been over 60 years since we formed our law & order and most of the social circumstances under which those laws were based on have undergone a dramatic change during this time. Historically Indian courts have declared verdicts taking consideration into the plea of weaker sex assuming they are not guilty especially in cases under IPC section 497.
I would like to bring to your attention about the article written in Mid-Day online daily by deputy news editor, Jayita Bandyopadhyay, who openly confess about her friend and encourages others to engage in extra marital affairs. Is this applicable to all Husbands as well? There is no surprise in this news as far as the current social circumstances are concerned but when the matter comes to the court its always MEN who are getting punished where the actual perpetrators are proclaimed innocent!
A friend from school called me up a month ago and gushed that she was having an extramarital affair.
Teenager-like, she almost shouted out about “the new man in her life” and breathlessly spoke about his “charms” for about an hour. “We are in love and sex is so exciting. He is so experienced and makes me feel like a princess,” she cooed, making “him” sound more like a dashing Mills and Boon’s hero rather than the 40-year-old, pot-bellied accountant that he was.
I was surprised and so were a few of our common friends. Surprised not because “another of us” was having an EMA (if I need to spell this out, you shouldn’t be reading this article) but because she, the plainest of all Janes, could have discovered a feeling so exhilarating! She, the one who got married at 22 and perpetually touted the “blessings of an arranged marriage with timely kids,” could hurl away her “settled life” for something so flimsy?
But we were wrong. It wasn’t flimsy.Over the next two weeks, we saw her transform.
From a dowdy aunty, she turned into a “wow” wife. Printed salwar-kurtas gave way to trendy Western casuals (and for once she looked comfortable in them); regular walks flattened waist tyres; grey hair took on a pretty shade of burgundy and blue-grey contacts replaced thick glasses.
Her brains, too, seemed altered. She mouthed Lewinsky lines like, “What’s wrong in having sex with another man as long as your family is not neglected?” “What’s guilt?”
But what changed most remarkably was her businessman husband’s attitude towards her. He started noticing her (much more than what he had during the early days of their marriage). He flooded her with phone calls as she cooked dal, arrived home early to take her out for romantic dinners and even planned a mini-vacation (more romantic than their honeymoon in Shimla).
In another week, the accountant faded away. But my friend maintained her makeover. And her marriage rocked! “We have discovered love for the first time in our marriage. Sex is great,” was her latest gyan.
So, do we all need a controlled dose of EMA?
source: http://www.mid-day.com/opinion/2009/jan/150109-extramarital-affair-few-advantages-benefits-adultery1.htm
RSS 
What does this lady want to prove by accepting the extra marital relations? It’s really a bad trend for Indian family system.
Don’t you think men will read that and see that taking a wife for granted just because she came as part of an arrangement is not the way to be?
It’s one of the most foul arguments.It’s height of absurdity to support the wrong acts of women all in the name of equality ! Where will all this lead to ?
”Why is men having affairs ok”
..Who informed you that it’s okay ? At least,be real while responding.
Yeah Right! Indians should stick to their hypocrisy and should not let the things out in open...
Talk about values and have highest rate of STDs including AIDS.
Yes, we should give way to Western liberalism that allows a woman to sleep with several men with no trace of guilt !!
And by blaming west you can't prove that indians are as pure as dew. You still have highest no. of AIDS patients.
I am neither boasting nor blaming but only rejecting the so-called better values prevailing in Western world that have led to rise in broken families, high divorce rate and high teenage pregnancies in Western worlds !!
”I am neither boasting nor blaming but only rejecting the so-called better values prevailing in Western world that have led to rise in broken families, high divorce rate and high teenage pregnancies in Western worlds !!”
I will take divorce over Aids any day!
And the highest teen pregnancy rates in the world are in sub-Saharan Africa not in America!
Change your references to either first world/ third world or Industrialized/developing. Because the world is round, every place is west of some other place.
There is your answer!
I am not saying I would do it, I don’t believe in starting a new project before the last one is finished. Personally, I would get a divorce before I started dating again.
What is all this talk of family? The article says she is in her 40s, she did her part in family and now her job is over. Her kids are grown and she is not going to be having more kids at that age.
That is the problem with seeing women only as baby making machines, you forget that they eventually get to old to make babies.
Being in her 40s doesn’t mean that her duties are over. In India it is not like the west that once your children have attained the age of majority your duties come to an end.
I am repeating my words. Both men and women have extra marital relations but have the men ever said it so proudly? In the name of equality and women empowerment we can’t allow such silly statements.
”In the name of equality and women empowerment we can’t allow such silly statements.”
Well said.One of gains of women empowerment has been the ability of women to engage in carnal pleasures with no trace of guilt.
Duties? Duties? Duties? What duties? So she is a civil servant or a slave? Is she never allowed a life of her own? To never love, or be loved, just an ’arrangement’ that exists to fulfill a duty?
If the woman in this article had loved her husband and he had loved her, then affairs would have never come up.
Whatever you say, will be taken in some other sense and a different meaning will be given to your statement. These are the Indian men.
They want their women to be loyal slaves in the house. Raise the children, cook, clean and never complain about anything. She has to stay happy and contented in what she gets. She doesn't have a right to fulfill the dreams that she had before marriage.
One who shun them and follow their heart are either called feminists or characterless or modern.
Such are Indian men. They are mentally sick and do not want to change neither accept the change. There's no point arguing with them.
And Arvind, please don't reply to my comment because i am not even .01% interested to have conversation with you.
I have other important tasks to do other than wasting my precious time in counteracting your CRAP... :-))
Wish U good time among like-minded souls-the typical modern women in league with borrowed ideals!!
Nature needs as much mixing as possible for the servival of the gens, but woman take the brunt of the moral issue because them are chemically conditioned to behave in a more nurturing way than man and being the one carrying the baby can’t run and hide like man
People will because of having emotion as their master will never understand how humans work–do as much mixing as logic will allow
Not just diverse in the numbers but diverse in the amount of distance between the gene pools.
”being the one carrying the baby can’t run and hide like man”
:) Priceless Wayne! Like the old saying, ”Momma’s baby, Daddy’s maybe.”
That is what it boils down to really, monogamy is imposed on women, because men don’t want to raise another man’s child.
DNA testing solved that problem, but the problem that science cannot solve... someone has to be responsible for those children and muddying the water with extramarital affairs and dividing loyalties during the child bearing years usually leaves women and children in poverty.
To go for bigamy or polygamy depends on individual culture morale and stuffs like that which i’m leaving to individuals. But LAWS should be changed so that MEN should also be considered innocent or WOMEN should also be punished.
Holy crap!!! Then that IS a whole different matter.
300 year old adultery laws fall into the same category of the absurd and ignored.
This article is nothing short of promoting adultery amongst women. But Jayita Bandhopadhyay is not at fault. Chairperson of National Commission for Women (NCW) is at fault as she has openly told on TV that adulterous women are victims and the sick society absorbed the intellectual shit as well.
Jayita is merely following her mentor.
As a very intelligent woman with a ton of logic ,i feel bad for you ,because like all sites disgusting anything and everything there are only about 10% woman and as usual 90% males leading the way and most of the 10% woman agreeing with the males
Your comments here were very -to the point and unbiased
How you will win any intellectual battles with men that outnumber you and never have listened to woman maybe impossible ,but no one can say your not trying
be well —Wayne
Lol, Instablogs is a train wreck that I can’t stop looking at. Almost all of my friends in real life are males and always have been. We hang out, play video games, cook together and talk about everything under the sun, so the response I get from guys here totally blows my mind. That whole, men do this and women do that, is totally foreign to me.
I know I will never win with them, but I am not really trying to win anything, just bridge a gap.
why are u wasting time here? go to remote villages in india and help the poor women who have to walk miles to bring drinking water.
Dont forget to take sunscreen lotion(high SPF), lipstick, nail polish,moisterizer with you.
This sort of writing is on par with ”shit”.I wonder what made the newspaper publish this type of article that encourages anti-family behaviour.
It’s no secret that laws need a major change that takes into account recent changes in Indian society.We have always believed that women are ”devis’.Such a perception,I think, has lost meaning in our times.Women are now setting new standards in setting wrong examples. The above piece confirms my views.
http://prassoon.instablogs.com/entry/wives-have-hiv-their-husbands-dont/
Then you will have a better outlook towards life. :)
What is bad in having extra marital affairs? You are using such a language just because of the fact that a girl has openly confessed the extra marital relations. So many men have extra marital affairs, why don’t you say anything about them
“In many such cases, women remarry and only during their first pregnancy do they find out that they are HIV positive,” said Dr Alaka Deshpande, head, ART Centre, JJ Hospital. “We have had cases where women were unaware that their husbands had died of HIV/AIDS,”
Will U please suggest your wife to have an extramarital affair? After all, the way you reacted,is enough to suggest that in your eyes it’s a noble act. Please lead by example and both of you-equality please-should immediately make arrangements for an extramarital affair.
Now I hope I am politically, morally and intellectually correct in your eyes !!
Plus you don't worry about my wife. If she'll decide to have an extra marital affairs, she will have it...weather i like it or not.
When individual choice start affecting the patterns of society it no longer remains an individual choice!!
I disagree that men are not questioned.They are questioned by all the conscious individuals.Aren’t there laws to prevent such affairs ?
How conveniently you skipped the latter part.
I did not ignore the second part.The second part adds nothing to overall meaning of your comment !!Is it necessary to emulate bad patterns?
I am of the opinion that they are not easily forgiven.I am sure you must be aware of the risks involved in such illegal relationships.Ultimately,both the parties do lose many things.How can U say that men are easily forgiven?
Aren’t they tried and tested in courts ?You are not being realistic.The men are often held guilty even if they had not done anything.On the other hand,the women is still considered to be epitome of virtue even after being involved in all sorts of relationship.
”@Nitesh
When individual choice start affecting the patterns of society it no longer remains an individual choice!!”
Whether His wife has an affair does not effect you at all, it is none of your business.
If you have a wife and she loves you, it won’t happen.
If she doesn’t love you, why would you want her anyway?